Ups & downs don’t let them break you
How I went from being lost and depressed to find my happy place
True story to empower you and inspire you to take the action today!
Last year this time (in 2017) I was dead broke – financially and mentally. I had no money to pay my rent, to buy food for the house to live like a normal person. My mindset was rubbish and I was getting to a deeper and deeper depression day by day. Don’t take me wrong I had some good days, but in all this misery it was getting harder and harder to find anything good or positive to light me up.
How did I get to this state?
I left my job and place I’ve lived for the past 5 years at the end of 2016. I had a great job and I used to earn a good money. I was able to travel for 4 months every year and you know, life was pretty damn good.
But I knew I was ready for a change.
I moved with my boyfriend in that time to a little seaside town in Cornwall, UK in February 2017 just after I got back from my holiday in Asia. Gorgeous place, beautiful beaches.
I found a new job that I thought will be amazing. I got offered great money and position and it all looked ideal. I’ve worked in hospitality my whole life and I thought “Well if I’ve been doing this for that long I have the experience I should just stick with it.”
I lasted in my new job for 3 days. I wasn’t happy. I felt lost.
After this experience I went from one job to another. In total 7 different jobs in a space of 1 month. I was letting people down. I couldn’t fight this inner voice any longer. I knew I need to make a change. I didn’t want to work for someone else anymore. I wanted to make my dream of running my own business a reality.
And I went for it.
I decided with my sister one night that we will open a mobile coffee van. We both were always passionate about coffee and opening our own cafe was our dream for years.
We had no money to put into our idea. We didn’t even know where to start, but we were not afraid to do it anyway as our passion was the fuel moving us forward.
I remember the day when I sat down to write our business plan to be able to get a loan from the bank. I have never written a business plan before. I didn’t even know how it supposed to look like or what to include, but I sat down and I knew.
It’s like this idea has been in my head for so long that putting it down on a paper was so simple. It felt so right and when I got stuck and wasn’t sure how to do something I would just figure it out with an absolute ease.
I decided to hire an accountant as well to help me with all the spreadsheets I wasn’t able to do myself and if I would do I knew it would take me much longer and I didn’t have the time.
After few weeks we managed to get a loan, we found the van we liked and got everything ready to finally open our own business in July 2017.
Just a note – we got the idea of opening our own coffee van in April the same year.
Our big excitement was soon pushed away with all struggles that came along the way. We couldn’t find a permanent pitch to be open every day. It was hard getting our name out as we both were new in the area. We didn’t know many people around and in the end we both ended up having a part-time job on the side.
Our dream soon turned into our nightmare.
We also started our own online social media company in September 2017. We knew we need to find another way of income and really going back to work for someone else full-time wasn’t an option.
We took courses and studied hard to get all knowledge we possibly could about social media and all the different platforms we use on daily basis. At one point we were even creating online courses to teach people about social media that nobody was buying. I also ended up writing blog posts for one hotel for 4 months, a job I took only because I needed money and it was literally draining me.
While working on our social media business though I ended up spending more and more time between coaches and I found this is something that really excites me and lights me up. I was really depressed back then and being in this space, surrounding myself with people who were able to empower me and make me feel good was helping me a lot to keep me alive.
That was the time I realized I want to become a coach. I want to serve people powerfully. I want to help people and make this world a better place. I want to use my story to inspire others and empower them to fight for their dreams and their desires.
I openly share my journey about how I dealt with depression as I think it’s really important nowadays to show people that even when you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel you need to look inside you, you need to find the light within you.
For me it was a depression, for you it can be going through a break-up, divorce, becoming a new mum, losing people from your life… Any of these challenges life throw at us can impact us and we all react to things in different ways. Some people overcome obstacles with ease to some people it will take longer.
When I decided to become a coach I still wasn’t in a good place, but the possibility to be able to help others was moving me forward.
I finished my coaching certification and became a certified life coach, solution-focused coach and transformational coach.
Was I ready to take this massive step forward for me in the time, when I was still struggling with my mobile coffee van business, had no money to even buy food for the house and felt like the biggest loser and failure in front of my parents who were supporting me and my sister along the way?
I took a risk.
I jumped before I was ready. I lied to my parents to borrow money from them to pay for my coaching course. I literally was studying and serving coffees at the same time. I’m not kidding. I went for it. I was committed to make this happen for me, to make my dream to come true.
I did it even though I was scared of failing, of people not getting me, my parents not understanding what coaching is and thinking I’m joking.
I decided that I no longer accept myself to feel like a failure.
Everything I’ve been through served me in some way. It helped me to become so much stronger and much more confidence than ever.
I had to make some difficult decisions along the way and I made my life and my goals non-negotiable.
I started getting rid off all blocks that I knew were holding me back. All blocks that kept me in this dark space for months. One of these blocks was also saying goodbye to my 6-year relationship with my now ex-boyfriend.
Where am I right now?
I’m still working on myself every single day. Getting out of depression as I always say is like getting out of an addiction. It’s a process and you need to stick with it to not allow it to hit you again.
I’ve found my happy place in being able to serve other people powerfully and being able to make an impact on people’s lives by sharing my story, by connecting with people all around the world and having conversations every single day.
I’m single and happy. I feel free. I love myself just the way I’m and I know I can achieve amazing things. I’m able to pay my rent. I have money to buy food for the house and finally, I don’t have to ask myself every single time I go out “Omg, can I afford this?”.
Message for you
My message for you is to keep trusting the process! The universe has got your back and is here to bring you everything you choose to welcome into your life.
Find out what it’s that you truly want to do with your life.
What is the one thing you would do even for free every day for the rest of your life?
What activity does bring joy to your life?
What are your interests?
Well, if it’s not making coffees for strangers in a cafe you know it’s time to make a change.
Don’t worry about money. Don’t let your financial situation to stop you from achieving your goals and making your dreams come true! I had no money to start any of my businesses, but I didn’t let that to stop me. Yes, I got into a debt I used my credit card, I took a loan, but I know if I could go back I would do it all over again the same way.
If you believe in yourself, if your gut is telling you “You go girl” you know you’re on the right path.
The money will come to you. Money is just an energy. Money comes where is a purpose. Find your purpose first and work on your mindset daily. Trust me that’s when the magic happens.
Your dreams are worth millions and billions of pounds. Don’t be scared to invest in yourself. Keep growing as a person.
You are meant for so much more.
Go and be fabulous!