Stop living your life in default mode, live by your design

How to start living by your design not by default? I’m talking about the impact of default mode on our life, our mental health, relationships and our overall happiness. Most people live their lives on autopilot. Tips on how you can start live purposefully and live your dream life.

Stop living your life in default mode, live by your design

Do you ever find yourself feeling like you are experiencing your life all over again? Do you often find yourself in places you don’t even know how you got there or you often feel like time passes and you are still in the same place?

Did I hear a “YES”? Most likely you are living in a default mode, autopilot, a way when you fully keep letting your sub-conscious mind to create your reality.

Don’t you worry you are not alone.

“I freed a thousand slaves, I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”

Harriet Tubman.

Let’s look at the facts

A recent study by Marks and Spencer in the UK shows that 96% of the 3,000 people surveyed said they were living in a default mode.


Living in a default mode is comfortable until people experience what I like to call a wake up call – circumstances in your life that shake your foundation, for instance a break-up, death in a family or illness.


While in your default mode you avoid to make big decisions, you live every day just mainly doing things – dropping kids at school, going to work, cook dinner, clean the house, watch some TV and go to bed and if you are lucky and don’t pass out right away there might be a little spark here and there with your partner.


We have been programmed this way. While growing up we saw most people around us living that way. Society made us believe that it’s the only way to live.


On the top of that, there is also years of stress accumulated in our bodies. Stress caused by outside circumstances or painful events or traumas you experienced in your childhood. When at school nobody taught you how to deal with stress, how to live your life purposefully.


What can actually happen when you keep living on autopilot?

What can happen and you see happening is people suffering from mental illnesses like PTSD, depression, anxiety if not healed often people find escape in alcohol, drugs and other addictions. All you want is to feel good, but you don’t know how. You get stuck and stick with those “quick fixes” that makes you feel better in a moment.


It might be even this innocent glass of wine you have after a busy day at work – it makes you feel good, right?


Another side effects are for instance, tiredness, your creativity is super low, you keep forgetting things (birthdays, pay your bills) or what even happened and hour ago, you say “yes” to things you normally wouldn’t – job that doesn’t fulfill you, extra shifts at work, going for Chinese even though you hate that kind of food.


If not realized living in a default mode can spread into all areas of your life –  health, family, friends, work & finances and your personal development. It makes you feel like you are out of control.


The biggest common regret people have at the end of their life is that they lived the life other’s expected them to live, not the one they wanted to live.


I can’t forget to mention a few well-known creative people who went through a mental illness or addiction, trauma in their life and managed to raise back up stronger than ever before – Russell Brand, Adele, Beyonce, Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres.


How to start living purposefully – by your design?


Let’s divide people into 2 groups:


Victim mode –  “I don’t know what is my purpose. I have no idea what to do in my life.”


It’s better done than to be perfect. Go and try different things. If you never try you will never find out what you actually enjoy and you are passionate about. Free yourself from your default mode and let the creativity flow in again.


How to free yourself from the default mode and wake up again?


Realize that you are the number 1 priority of your life – no your kids, husband, family, friends, pets. Whatever you ever do you always do it first and foremost for yourself.


People often find this selfish but have you ever been on a plane and watched the safety video?


“Put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then help others”


It’s the first necessary step when taking the responsibility for your life. No one will come to safe you. You have to take the first step.


Stop waiting for the magic to happen and be that magic in this world. Stop waiting for the luck to come your way – luck is another thing only you can create for yourself.


Stuck mode –  “I know what I want but I don’t know how.”


Use brainstorming to come up with different ideas. Write a list of things how you could achieve what you desire and pick one thing that can take you one step closer today.  


Don’t over-complicate it, just take the action. An idea in your diary is just a another idea in your diary until action is taken and your idea comes to life.


No matter what group you belong to. Realize you are right where you supposed to be and it doesn’t matter if you are 19 or 54 you can start living purposefully. There is not such a thing “It’s too late or too soon”. We all live in our own timelines.

Create a clear, strong and every day exciting vision for your life. You need to have a reason why you do what you do to make sure things you dream about come your way.


Let’s leave the passenger seat and try how it feels to sit in the driver seat. Once you try you will never leave the seat again.


13 thoughts on “Stop living your life in default mode, live by your design

  1. This is such a great read – we have had a dream for a long time to own and live on our own narrowboat – due to some terribly sad events we decided some time ago that when we got the opportunity to do this we would grab it because life can be very short sometimes and you never know what’s round the corner – so we are now living our dream and loving every minute xx

  2. I love what you said about making ourselves a priority and having an exciting vision for our life. I think it’s time for me to update my vision board 😀

  3. I loved reading your words, they really touched me and truly made me think. Now, if only I could become my own pilot again… I definitely can’t stop fighting!

    1. Hi Eleanor, thank you for your kind words. Trust me you can, you have the power within you! For more support and wisdom come and join me on my Instagram (if you have one) would be great to connect Xxx

      1. Hello,
        Thank You so much – I truly do hope I do!
        Thank You, that’s really kind – I’ll pop over and see if I can find you to connect. xx

    1. Hi Claire, I’m really sorry to hear about your mum. Thank you so much for being here and for being open! You can and I believe in you, sending lots of love your way Xxx

  4. This is something that so many people need to read! It’s not always easy to not live on autopilot when you days are more or less the same. I personally find it so important to break up my routine once in a while and review if my lifestyle right now brings me any closer to my goals. This is a great reminder to be more mindful and to make yourself a priority!

    1. Karina thank you for commenting!It’s so easy to fall into autopilot mode without us even knowing, our self-awareness is super important Xxx

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